One story - oh, it couldn't be more than a local urban legend - is that Sally, a young woman new to the north end, met Bethany from the cul de sac, when they were both out walking their dogs. The dogs, both healthy puppies, took to each other and started playing together. Well, you know how it is. The pups were on their leashes so while the dogs played, the women chatted. They were both about the same age, so they had a few things in common. They'd walk and chat about work, husbands, kids, the usual stuff.
Well, as sometimes happens, the economy took a downturn and Sally's husband lost his job. Bethany offered Sally the usual tea and sympathy and said she'd pray for them. Sally didn't think the prayers would make much difference but she thanked Bethany and didn't give it another thought. Within a few days Sally's husband got a job at twice his former pay. Well, Sally was thrilled and phoned Bethany to tell her the good news.
Now, here's where the story gets a bit hazy. It seems Bethany told Sally that she had to do certain things. Sally was a Catholic and she was used to things like saying a rosary or publishing a notice of thanksgiving to St. Jude. But, what Bethany said struck Sally as being, well, a little odd. Sally said sure, no problem, she'd do them. But she didn't. Sally couldn't take what Bethany said - things like retribution - seriously.
A month went by. Sally felt a little funny when she bumped into Bethany. She had the oddest feeling that Bethany knew she hadn't done any of those things. Well, Sally couldn't really trust her feelings. She'd just found out she was pregnant and you know what that can do to a woman's perceptions.
Then things started going wrong. First Sally's freezer went off. It was the strangest thing. Sally opened the lid and the stench nearly knocked her out. All the meat had gone bad. Yet the other food was fine and the freezer was cold. None of the clocks were flashing 12, so Sally knew it wasn't a blackout. The repairman said there was nothing wrong. Sally figured it was just one of those things and bought fresh meat.
A few days later, Sally's husband was downsized out his job. Well, the economy was a roller coaster. Then Sally's puppy was found dead under a bush. The vet couldn't explain how a healthy puppy could die like that. No poison, it hadn't been sick, no explanation. Then Sally miscarried. The doctor reassured her. It happens all the time, probably for the best, Sally was still young, nothing's wrong, probably stress.
Sally was distracted and almost didn't recognize Bethany when she bumped into her on the way to the market. Sally told her about how things had taken a turn for the worst.
Bethany listened without comment. After a long pause, Bethany gave Sally a cold stare and said, "What did you expect? You didn't do as you were told."
And, with that, Bethany just walked away.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!
Have a great weekend. How can you miss - you're in Winnipeg!
October 29, 2009
October 27, 2009
There Be Circles (part 1 - by Margaret Ullrich)
I don't know if you've ever noticed but there are an awful lot of cul de sacs in this city. I've never understood why they're so popular, especially after a Winnipeg snow storm. After the city plows all the snow into a small mountain on one curb, blocking the view, you have to take your life into your hands to drive out.
When we first moved to our present home neighbors told me about a cul de sac a few blocks north of us. When kids have to sell candy in September they avoid going there. It's not far but I don't walk our dogs near it. Well, our neighbors had said to avoid it. The people there have a reputation for being 'different'. Nothing dangerous. No, nothing like that. It's just that they have a bit of history.
I've heard stories, but I'm sure there's no truth to them. I mean, things like that don't happen. It is the twenty first century, right?
Still... better safe than sorry.
The interesting thing is that the families in this cul de sac are all descendants from some of the Selkirk settlers. Imagine that. A few families that have managed to stay near each other and intermarried for almost two hundred years.
The Selkirk settlers faced hard times when they arrived in Winnipeg in 1815. Cold weather and lack of food and housing to name just a few. The Selkirk settlers were strong and brave and never complained about these physical hardships. Some people find comfort in religion at times like that.
There again the Selkirk settlers, mostly Presbyterians, had a problem. They had to wait until 1851 for a minister to be sent over from Europe. Imagine that - 36 years without an ordained minister. Two generations with no one to properly officiate at weddings, christenings or funerals. In the spiritual void they had to take care of themselves. If I were in their place, I don't know what I'd have done. Do you? Some continued as best they could with Bible readings and trying to observe the Christian calendar.
But, some of the settlers went further back, as if some primitive force was just waiting for them to need more than Bible stories. Well, that's what some people say two or three of the settler families did. That that's what their descendants are still doing. It actually looks cheerful to drive by and see neighbors gather around and celebrate things like solsistices and equinoxes. That's all it is, right?
Have a great day. How can you miss - you're in Winnipeg!
When we first moved to our present home neighbors told me about a cul de sac a few blocks north of us. When kids have to sell candy in September they avoid going there. It's not far but I don't walk our dogs near it. Well, our neighbors had said to avoid it. The people there have a reputation for being 'different'. Nothing dangerous. No, nothing like that. It's just that they have a bit of history.
I've heard stories, but I'm sure there's no truth to them. I mean, things like that don't happen. It is the twenty first century, right?
Still... better safe than sorry.
The interesting thing is that the families in this cul de sac are all descendants from some of the Selkirk settlers. Imagine that. A few families that have managed to stay near each other and intermarried for almost two hundred years.
The Selkirk settlers faced hard times when they arrived in Winnipeg in 1815. Cold weather and lack of food and housing to name just a few. The Selkirk settlers were strong and brave and never complained about these physical hardships. Some people find comfort in religion at times like that.
There again the Selkirk settlers, mostly Presbyterians, had a problem. They had to wait until 1851 for a minister to be sent over from Europe. Imagine that - 36 years without an ordained minister. Two generations with no one to properly officiate at weddings, christenings or funerals. In the spiritual void they had to take care of themselves. If I were in their place, I don't know what I'd have done. Do you? Some continued as best they could with Bible readings and trying to observe the Christian calendar.
But, some of the settlers went further back, as if some primitive force was just waiting for them to need more than Bible stories. Well, that's what some people say two or three of the settler families did. That that's what their descendants are still doing. It actually looks cheerful to drive by and see neighbors gather around and celebrate things like solsistices and equinoxes. That's all it is, right?
Have a great day. How can you miss - you're in Winnipeg!
October 25, 2009
Prairie Fire Press' "Home Place 3: Part 2" Launch
Back to our own home grown writers...
Prairie Fire Press is inviting everyone to come to the launch and celebration of "Home Place 3", Thursday November 5 at McNally Robinson Booksellers' Grant Park location, in the Travel Alcove. Readings start at 7:00 pm. It is free to the public.
This is part two of a special two-part issue of Prairie Fire celebrating Winnipeg's fiction writers.
Giving short readings that evening are Steve Benstead, Todd Besant, Warren Cariou, Sharon Chisvin, Anita Daher, Elizabeth Denny, David Elias, Hedy Heppenstall, Mary Horodyski, Faith Johnston, Esme Claire Keith, Barbara Romanik, James Scoles, Niigonwedom James Sinclair, Katherena Vermette, Andrea von Wichert and John Weir.
Join the writers for cake and coffee after the reading. I hope it will be the delicious carrot cake served after the launch of "Home Place 2" in 2008. I had a story in that issue and remember the launch as being a lot of fun. Writers always love to meet their readers.
It sometimes happens that meeting an author stirs the "I can do that, too" spirit in a reader. Well, maybe you can. Prairie Fire Press, in conjunction with McNally Robinson Booksellers, is hosting its annual poetry, fiction and creative non-fiction contests.
In each category: 1st prize $1,250, 2nd prize $500, 3rd prize $250.
For information and guidelines contact:
Prairie Fire Press
Phone: (204) 943-9066
E-mail: prfire@mts.net
www.prairiefire.ca
Deadline: November 30, 2009
The $31 entry fee entitles you to a one-year (4 issue) subscription to Prairie Fire. Nothing to lose. Give it a shot.
Have a great day. How can you miss - you're in Winnipeg!
Prairie Fire Press is inviting everyone to come to the launch and celebration of "Home Place 3", Thursday November 5 at McNally Robinson Booksellers' Grant Park location, in the Travel Alcove. Readings start at 7:00 pm. It is free to the public.
This is part two of a special two-part issue of Prairie Fire celebrating Winnipeg's fiction writers.
Giving short readings that evening are Steve Benstead, Todd Besant, Warren Cariou, Sharon Chisvin, Anita Daher, Elizabeth Denny, David Elias, Hedy Heppenstall, Mary Horodyski, Faith Johnston, Esme Claire Keith, Barbara Romanik, James Scoles, Niigonwedom James Sinclair, Katherena Vermette, Andrea von Wichert and John Weir.
Join the writers for cake and coffee after the reading. I hope it will be the delicious carrot cake served after the launch of "Home Place 2" in 2008. I had a story in that issue and remember the launch as being a lot of fun. Writers always love to meet their readers.
It sometimes happens that meeting an author stirs the "I can do that, too" spirit in a reader. Well, maybe you can. Prairie Fire Press, in conjunction with McNally Robinson Booksellers, is hosting its annual poetry, fiction and creative non-fiction contests.
In each category: 1st prize $1,250, 2nd prize $500, 3rd prize $250.
For information and guidelines contact:
Prairie Fire Press
Phone: (204) 943-9066
E-mail: prfire@mts.net
www.prairiefire.ca
Deadline: November 30, 2009
The $31 entry fee entitles you to a one-year (4 issue) subscription to Prairie Fire. Nothing to lose. Give it a shot.
Have a great day. How can you miss - you're in Winnipeg!
October 22, 2009
More About Paul Ullrich
In 1975 they moved to Winnipeg, Manitoba, where Paul worked in the art department of Bulman Brothers, a printing firm. In 1978 he joined the editorial art staff at The Winnipeg Free Press, working as a graphic designer and illustrator for fourteen years.
Paul contributed illustrations for The Winnipeg Folk Festival, Winnipeg Magazine and Report on Farming. He taught a cartooning course at Prairie Theatre Exchange in 1982 and lectured on cartooning at the University of Manitoba's Festival of Language Arts from 1982 to 1984.
From 1982 to 1989 Paul drew a weekly comic strip, Peaches, syndicated by the Copley News Syndicate of San Diego, California. There's more information on Paul's Peaches strip on his fan website.
In 1986 he worked with 'Doonsebury' cartoonist Gary Trudeau for Comic Relief and Hands Across America. Cartoons for these efforts were published in the June 1986 issue of Life magazine and Comic Relief, a book published by Henry Holt.
He contributed Peaches cartoons to the American Cancer Society's Great American Smokeout, Global EdMed Supplies, and Guiding Eyes for the Blind.
For seven years Paul was the editorial cartoonist for four weekly Winnipeg newspapers: The Lance, The Metro, The Times and The Herald. In 1998, he won a Canadian Community Newspaper Association Award for his editorial cartooning.
Lambiek, a comic book shop in Amsterdam, publishes an encyclopedia of comic book and comic strip artists and their work The Lambiek comiclopedia. The Make Cancer History Gala Ball website also has Paul's bio and some of his cartoons.
He has painted ten murals for organizations such as Take Pride Winnipeg, The Canadian Red Cross and The Winnipeg International Air Show.
From 1997 to 2002 Paul was an instructor and lecturer for the 2D and 3D animation courses at The Applied Multimedia Training Centre.
In 1996 he wrote, produced, co-directed and performed in a play The Worst Thing I Ever Did for Popular Theatre Alliance of Manitoba. During the early 80s, Paul had also produced, directed and performed in the Public Access TV programs Comics and Cartoons and Roger Rocket Pilot.
Paul and Marg created and performed in a play spotlighting community problems with The Nor'west Co-op Community Health Centre's theatre group in 2003.
Paul has done model railroading cartoons and written articles for The Lantern, The Fusee, The Canadian, CN Lines, O Gauge Railroading and Trains magazine.
There's more on Paul's article Riding The Hippie Train on this PDF of the contents page of the feb 2006 issue of Trains magazine. There is also a Yahoo! group page that mentioned Paul's article Riding The Hippie Train.
An article about Paul Ullrich, written by Avi Saper, appeared in the May 7, 2009 issue of Canstar's The Times.
Paul was the Editorial Cartoonist for Canstar Community News from August 2011 to January 2013.
He has created his own website where you can view a virtual gallery of his artwork.
Paul was the Editorial Cartoonist for Canstar Community News from August 2011 to January 2013.
He has created his own website where you can view a virtual gallery of his artwork.
Paul Ullrich's three animated cartoons can be found online on openfilm.com.
Here are the links to each of them:
October 20, 2009
Silence of the Clams and Love Means Never Asking You To Shave Your Legs by Paul Ullrich
Did Paul Ullrich produce other cartoons besides The Bicycle Lesson? Yes, he did.
Paul took up animation in 1990, when he joined the Manitoba Society of Independent Animators. He also served on their board.
His first animated cartoon Silence of the Clams (1994) premiered at Cinematheque. It received the Manitoba Motion Picture Industry Association's Blizzard Award for Best Animation, 1995. It also earned third place, Best Independent Animation at 'The Canadian International Annual Film/Video Festival', 1999.
Silence of the Clams was broadcast on PPTV's Prairie Filmakers VI and on CBC's Open Wide. It screened as part of the Winnipeg Film Group's 20th Anniversary Retrospective, as well as showing in festivals in Fargo, Sweden, Melbourne, Newfoundland and Campbell River, B.C.
Paul's second cartoon Love Means Never Asking You To Shave Your Legs (1996) also premiered at the Cinematheque. It was nominated for MMPIA's Blizzard award, 1997. It won two awards at 'The Canadian International Annual Film and Video Festival' in 2000: first place, Best Independent Animation and third place, Best Independent Entry.
It was broadcast on The Knowledge Network, The Comedy Network and CBC's Open Wide.
Love Means Never Asking You To Shave Your Legs has proven to be a favourite. It was included this year in the 'Media and Self-Image - Body Image Awareness Forum' held at the University of Winnipeg. In 2004 it was shown in 'The Indie-Amins: Winnipeg Independent Animation', as well as in 'The Sugar and Splice Feminist Film Festival', both in Winnipeg. It has also screened in Vancouver, Regina, Toronto, Sudbury, Rouyn-Noranda and Campbell River, B.C.
The process of creating a two-dimensional cartoon has changed since 1990. But, even with sophisticated computer programs, it is still a long, slow process. Paul made pencil drawings of each frame, then an ink version to be scanned into his computer. He coloured the 1,100 different cels on his computer. Then he created a transparent version to place over the background which was a combination of hand drawings and photographs.
All this work so you could enjoy a fine cartoon. So, come tonight to the Cinematheque to see Paul's The Bicycle Lesson. That's October 20 at 7:00 pm (come at 6:00 pm to see the total 'The Bike Shorts Film Festival'). It's also showing on Friday, October 30 at 9:00 pm.
Have a great day. How can you miss - you're in Winnipeg!
Paul took up animation in 1990, when he joined the Manitoba Society of Independent Animators. He also served on their board.
His first animated cartoon Silence of the Clams (1994) premiered at Cinematheque. It received the Manitoba Motion Picture Industry Association's Blizzard Award for Best Animation, 1995. It also earned third place, Best Independent Animation at 'The Canadian International Annual Film/Video Festival', 1999.
Silence of the Clams was broadcast on PPTV's Prairie Filmakers VI and on CBC's Open Wide. It screened as part of the Winnipeg Film Group's 20th Anniversary Retrospective, as well as showing in festivals in Fargo, Sweden, Melbourne, Newfoundland and Campbell River, B.C.
Paul's second cartoon Love Means Never Asking You To Shave Your Legs (1996) also premiered at the Cinematheque. It was nominated for MMPIA's Blizzard award, 1997. It won two awards at 'The Canadian International Annual Film and Video Festival' in 2000: first place, Best Independent Animation and third place, Best Independent Entry.
It was broadcast on The Knowledge Network, The Comedy Network and CBC's Open Wide.
Love Means Never Asking You To Shave Your Legs has proven to be a favourite. It was included this year in the 'Media and Self-Image - Body Image Awareness Forum' held at the University of Winnipeg. In 2004 it was shown in 'The Indie-Amins: Winnipeg Independent Animation', as well as in 'The Sugar and Splice Feminist Film Festival', both in Winnipeg. It has also screened in Vancouver, Regina, Toronto, Sudbury, Rouyn-Noranda and Campbell River, B.C.
The process of creating a two-dimensional cartoon has changed since 1990. But, even with sophisticated computer programs, it is still a long, slow process. Paul made pencil drawings of each frame, then an ink version to be scanned into his computer. He coloured the 1,100 different cels on his computer. Then he created a transparent version to place over the background which was a combination of hand drawings and photographs.
All this work so you could enjoy a fine cartoon. So, come tonight to the Cinematheque to see Paul's The Bicycle Lesson. That's October 20 at 7:00 pm (come at 6:00 pm to see the total 'The Bike Shorts Film Festival'). It's also showing on Friday, October 30 at 9:00 pm.
Have a great day. How can you miss - you're in Winnipeg!
October 18, 2009
The Bicycle Lesson, by Paul Ullrich, Rides On!
Thought Winnipeg just has great writers? No way. We have some great visual artists, too.
Paul Ullrich's animated cartoon The Bicycle Lesson will be screened at 7:00 pm this Tuesday, October 20, at the Cinematheque as part of 'The Bike Shorts Film Festival'. There'll also be an exhibition of bike art at 6:00 pm. Admission to the festival (including exhibition and films) is $10.
Prefer going out on Friday nights? No problem. On Friday, October 30, The Bicycle Lesson will be screened at 9:00 pm at the Cinematheque, as part of the 'Get Animated! Film Festival - The Devil Wore a Paper Hat: New Winnipeg Animation'. In addition to The Bicycle Lesson there'll be new animation from many Winnipeg animators. The festival runs from October 27 to 31. Admission is free.
What is The Bicycle Lesson about? The plot is based on Paul's childhood friend's disastrous first bicycle lesson, given by Carl's older siblings.
The lesson begins on top of a hill. Without preparing the bike properly - the seat is too high and a training wheel is loose - Willy places five-year-old Carl on the bike. Their sister points out the problems. While the pair argues, Carl rolls down the hill. Carl can't reach the pedals to stop the bike as it careens wildly towards a lobster fisherman and the harbour.
The Bicycle Lesson premiered in March at 'South Beach International Animation Festival' in Miami, Florida.
It was also shown in May at 'The Sixth Annual Danville International Children's Film Festival' in Danville, California. And, here in Winnipeg, it was shown at 'The Black Women's Festival of Art and Culture / Kid's Shorts Program', at 'Out of My Head', and at 'The Bike Shorts Film Festival' during this past summer.
The Bicycle Lesson has also been selected to screen at 'The Sharp Cuts Indie Film and Music Festival' November 13 to 15 in Guelph, Ontario.
For lovers of CBC radio, there's an extra treat. Leon Cole does the English narration. The music is also fun - excerpts from Gilbert and Sullivan's The Mikado performed by Glenn Klassen.
All this talking about movies and the Cinematheque made me hungry. What's a movie without popcorn?
CARAMEL CORN
prepare regular popcorn
place in large heat-proof bowl
-----
In a heavy pot mix together
2 cups brown sugar
1/2 cup butter
3 tablespoons corn syrup
boil 5 min.
remove from heat
-----
pinch of baking soda
add
while foamy pour over popcorn
mix well
Have a great day. How can you miss - you're in Winnipeg!
Paul Ullrich's animated cartoon The Bicycle Lesson will be screened at 7:00 pm this Tuesday, October 20, at the Cinematheque as part of 'The Bike Shorts Film Festival'. There'll also be an exhibition of bike art at 6:00 pm. Admission to the festival (including exhibition and films) is $10.
Prefer going out on Friday nights? No problem. On Friday, October 30, The Bicycle Lesson will be screened at 9:00 pm at the Cinematheque, as part of the 'Get Animated! Film Festival - The Devil Wore a Paper Hat: New Winnipeg Animation'. In addition to The Bicycle Lesson there'll be new animation from many Winnipeg animators. The festival runs from October 27 to 31. Admission is free.
What is The Bicycle Lesson about? The plot is based on Paul's childhood friend's disastrous first bicycle lesson, given by Carl's older siblings.
The lesson begins on top of a hill. Without preparing the bike properly - the seat is too high and a training wheel is loose - Willy places five-year-old Carl on the bike. Their sister points out the problems. While the pair argues, Carl rolls down the hill. Carl can't reach the pedals to stop the bike as it careens wildly towards a lobster fisherman and the harbour.
The Bicycle Lesson premiered in March at 'South Beach International Animation Festival' in Miami, Florida.
It was also shown in May at 'The Sixth Annual Danville International Children's Film Festival' in Danville, California. And, here in Winnipeg, it was shown at 'The Black Women's Festival of Art and Culture / Kid's Shorts Program', at 'Out of My Head', and at 'The Bike Shorts Film Festival' during this past summer.
The Bicycle Lesson has also been selected to screen at 'The Sharp Cuts Indie Film and Music Festival' November 13 to 15 in Guelph, Ontario.
For lovers of CBC radio, there's an extra treat. Leon Cole does the English narration. The music is also fun - excerpts from Gilbert and Sullivan's The Mikado performed by Glenn Klassen.
All this talking about movies and the Cinematheque made me hungry. What's a movie without popcorn?
CARAMEL CORN
prepare regular popcorn
place in large heat-proof bowl
-----
In a heavy pot mix together
2 cups brown sugar
1/2 cup butter
3 tablespoons corn syrup
boil 5 min.
remove from heat
-----
pinch of baking soda
add
while foamy pour over popcorn
mix well
Have a great day. How can you miss - you're in Winnipeg!
October 15, 2009
Muriel's Christmas Dinner (by Margaret Ullrich)
My friend Muriel hasn't recovered from last Christmas. The poor dear had tried to please everybody. Solomon couldn't have pulled that off. Muriel was willing to go with the flow, but she was caught in a tsunami. Her husband Tom is a simple man with simple tastes. He just wanted a bird with stuffing and cranberry sauce. He should never have had children.
Their eldest, Donna, keeps up with trends. Muriel had asked Donna to bring appetizers. Muriel expected celery sticks with cream cheese, crackers and cheese cubes. Donna waltzed in with an oriental party pack and assorted seafood and chicken wing platters. Something for everyone. Uh, huh. Tom backed off when he saw the eggrolls. "I don't like Chinese."
Donna said, "I got you BBQ chicken wings."
Ignoring her, Tom said, "They don't serve bread." Tom went to the kitchen for bread.
Then Betty arrived. Betty lives in a commune and supports the rights of everything and everybody, except those of the hostess. Betty always carried tofu because she never ate dairy products or anything with eyes or eggs. Muriel had prepared a nice salad for Betty. Not good enough.
"Were the pickers paid a decent wage?"
"The lettuce had a union label."
"I only eat organically grown food. Did they use manure."
"We had to scrub the carrots with bleach to get the E coli off."
"Oh... okay."
Tom heard E coli and reached for another slice of bread.
Finally, their son Bill arrived with his wife Carol and their children, Krystal and Jason. Bill and Carol had every allergy in the book. Bill also had cholesterol and Carol had her waistline. They avoided the platters and drank water. Krystal, a tender hearted child, burst into tears when she saw the wings.
"Oh, those poor birdies. Do you know how they treat chickens, Grandma?"
Muriel figured the birds were better off than she was. They never had to make a holiday dinner for the family. But this was her granddaughter.
"Krystal, dear, these birdies lived in a happy place where they laughed and played and sang songs for a long, long time. Then one day they just went to sleep and woke up as chicken wings and they were so happy they jumped onto the barbecue."
"Oh... okay."
Who says the next generation knows it all? Tom heard Muriel's tale of the laughing, singing chickens with the kamikaze wings, figured she'd finally lost it and ate more bread.
Ignored by his elders, Jason gobbled a fistful of seafood appetizers and started wheezing. Muriel packed away the appetizers before her children could start a food fight and led them to the main event.
The table looked like a sailboat regatta designed by Martha Stewart. Every dish had a tiny flag listing ingredients. Muriel did not want to call the paramedics again. Krystal cried when she saw the turkey. When Betty reached for the potatoes, Bill said, "But they have eyes". Betty meant to kick her brother, but got her sister-in-law, Carol, who screamed and kicked back. Muriel yelled at her kids. It was just like always. Damn.
After everyone had eaten what they could, Muriel brought out a carafe of hot cranberry apple cider. This was her gift to herself. Seeing all the different coffees at the market made her go woozie. Whatever happened to plain coffee, black or with cream? The adults didn't say a word while visions of cappuccinos, espressos and lattes danced in their heads.
Betty had made the dessert. It was just what the doctor ordered. No eggs, no cream, no butter, no taste. Tom just saw a pumpkin pie. It looked fine. Tom helped himself to a slice and thought that Betty was returning to the food of her mothers. But, something tasted... off. Maybe a new spice?
"Betty, what's in this pie," he asked.
"Tofu."
"Geez." Tom reached for the bread. Jason had wheezed through the whole meal. All in all, it had been just another family holiday get together. God help Muriel. The holidays are back.
Have a great weekend. How can you miss - you're in Winnipeg!
Their eldest, Donna, keeps up with trends. Muriel had asked Donna to bring appetizers. Muriel expected celery sticks with cream cheese, crackers and cheese cubes. Donna waltzed in with an oriental party pack and assorted seafood and chicken wing platters. Something for everyone. Uh, huh. Tom backed off when he saw the eggrolls. "I don't like Chinese."
Donna said, "I got you BBQ chicken wings."
Ignoring her, Tom said, "They don't serve bread." Tom went to the kitchen for bread.
Then Betty arrived. Betty lives in a commune and supports the rights of everything and everybody, except those of the hostess. Betty always carried tofu because she never ate dairy products or anything with eyes or eggs. Muriel had prepared a nice salad for Betty. Not good enough.
"Were the pickers paid a decent wage?"
"The lettuce had a union label."
"I only eat organically grown food. Did they use manure."
"We had to scrub the carrots with bleach to get the E coli off."
"Oh... okay."
Tom heard E coli and reached for another slice of bread.
Finally, their son Bill arrived with his wife Carol and their children, Krystal and Jason. Bill and Carol had every allergy in the book. Bill also had cholesterol and Carol had her waistline. They avoided the platters and drank water. Krystal, a tender hearted child, burst into tears when she saw the wings.
"Oh, those poor birdies. Do you know how they treat chickens, Grandma?"
Muriel figured the birds were better off than she was. They never had to make a holiday dinner for the family. But this was her granddaughter.
"Krystal, dear, these birdies lived in a happy place where they laughed and played and sang songs for a long, long time. Then one day they just went to sleep and woke up as chicken wings and they were so happy they jumped onto the barbecue."
"Oh... okay."
Who says the next generation knows it all? Tom heard Muriel's tale of the laughing, singing chickens with the kamikaze wings, figured she'd finally lost it and ate more bread.
Ignored by his elders, Jason gobbled a fistful of seafood appetizers and started wheezing. Muriel packed away the appetizers before her children could start a food fight and led them to the main event.
The table looked like a sailboat regatta designed by Martha Stewart. Every dish had a tiny flag listing ingredients. Muriel did not want to call the paramedics again. Krystal cried when she saw the turkey. When Betty reached for the potatoes, Bill said, "But they have eyes". Betty meant to kick her brother, but got her sister-in-law, Carol, who screamed and kicked back. Muriel yelled at her kids. It was just like always. Damn.
After everyone had eaten what they could, Muriel brought out a carafe of hot cranberry apple cider. This was her gift to herself. Seeing all the different coffees at the market made her go woozie. Whatever happened to plain coffee, black or with cream? The adults didn't say a word while visions of cappuccinos, espressos and lattes danced in their heads.
Betty had made the dessert. It was just what the doctor ordered. No eggs, no cream, no butter, no taste. Tom just saw a pumpkin pie. It looked fine. Tom helped himself to a slice and thought that Betty was returning to the food of her mothers. But, something tasted... off. Maybe a new spice?
"Betty, what's in this pie," he asked.
"Tofu."
"Geez." Tom reached for the bread. Jason had wheezed through the whole meal. All in all, it had been just another family holiday get together. God help Muriel. The holidays are back.
Have a great weekend. How can you miss - you're in Winnipeg!
October 13, 2009
The WMRC's Great Canadian Train Show & The Holidays
Just a reminder... The Winnipeg Model Railroad Club will be hosting their Great Canadian Train Show and Flea Market at the Mennonite Brethren Collegiate, 180 Riverton on October 17 from 10:00 am to 5:00 pm and October 18 from 11:00 am to 4:00 pm. Everyone is welcome to browse and buy. Funds raised will go toward the Autism Society. Neat. A way to have fun, help others and find some Christmas gifts. Want more info? Go to http://winnipeg.modelrr.ca/
When I think of the holiday season, the answer to "What was the best decade?" is pretty obvious. The 50s. No doubt about it.
Back then there weren't so many choices. You didn't have it your way. 'Special Orders' were unheard of. If you had a problem with something, it was YOUR problem. Our mothers could get away with a ham or a turkey, potatoes - mashed or baked or sweet - some vegetables and fruitcake with coffee. If they were feeling adventurous, they could try the Kraft recipe they saw on Perry Como and shyly present the marshmallow studded jellied salad that looked like an armadillo as 'Something for a little variety'.
They'd be regarded as slackers today.
People complain about seeing Christmas items in the stores in September. It takes that long to figure out what one can safely serve. We live in a multicultural society, a politically correct society, a health conscious society, a pain in the wazoo society.
Picture it - a young couple from different backgrounds is about to host their first family feast. They had to make decisions about religion, children and money. That was the easy part.
Now they're facing relatives. This isn't just a meal. It's loyalty, tradition, recipes. Mothers are involved. One served cornbread stuffing, the other used white bread. I've known women who cooked two birds, just to keep the peace. Their mothers came, ate, beamed and agreed - the turkey was dry.
But they're Manitobans. They're tough. They survived the holidays.
Have a great day. How can you miss - you're in Winnipeg!
When I think of the holiday season, the answer to "What was the best decade?" is pretty obvious. The 50s. No doubt about it.
Back then there weren't so many choices. You didn't have it your way. 'Special Orders' were unheard of. If you had a problem with something, it was YOUR problem. Our mothers could get away with a ham or a turkey, potatoes - mashed or baked or sweet - some vegetables and fruitcake with coffee. If they were feeling adventurous, they could try the Kraft recipe they saw on Perry Como and shyly present the marshmallow studded jellied salad that looked like an armadillo as 'Something for a little variety'.
They'd be regarded as slackers today.
People complain about seeing Christmas items in the stores in September. It takes that long to figure out what one can safely serve. We live in a multicultural society, a politically correct society, a health conscious society, a pain in the wazoo society.
Picture it - a young couple from different backgrounds is about to host their first family feast. They had to make decisions about religion, children and money. That was the easy part.
Now they're facing relatives. This isn't just a meal. It's loyalty, tradition, recipes. Mothers are involved. One served cornbread stuffing, the other used white bread. I've known women who cooked two birds, just to keep the peace. Their mothers came, ate, beamed and agreed - the turkey was dry.
But they're Manitobans. They're tough. They survived the holidays.
Have a great day. How can you miss - you're in Winnipeg!
October 11, 2009
Thanksgiving Day - Easy as Pie (Crust)
One thing I really don't miss about our radio show Better Than Chocolate is having to give the long range weather forecast. Our show was on Thursdays and, according to the government of Canada - which is NEVER wrong - the Thanksgiving 2007 weekend was supposed to be lovely. I wished everyone a great holiday weekend and blathered on about how great the weather was going to be.
Let's just say the government info was extremely optimistic.
By Thanksgiving I was afraid people were lining up to stuff me into a turkey. And here we are with another unseasonal Thanksgiving weekend. But we're Manitobans. We're tough. We'll party hearty through anything Mother Nature throws at us.
Okay. The weather and road conditions are the pits. But, here's an easy pie crust recipe that could save the day. Best of all, you don't roll it out.
SPEEDY PAT-IN PIE CRUST
preheat oven to 425ยบ
-----
In a 9 inch pie pan mix together
1 1/2 cups flour
1 1/2 teaspoons sugar
3/4 teaspoon salt
-----
beat together until creamy
1/2 cup oil
3 tablespoons cold milk
add to flour mixture and pat in to fill pan
-----
if baking empty shell: prick and bake 15 min.
if baking with filling: use filling's instructions
I love those Chicken Soup books. Sometimes there's a quote that I have to copy and pin to my bulletin board. In honor of Thanksgiving, I'm sharing the following:
Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.
It turns what we have into enough, and more.
It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion to clarity.
It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates vision for tomorrow. Melody Beattie
Have a great day. How can you miss - you're in Winnipeg!
Let's just say the government info was extremely optimistic.
By Thanksgiving I was afraid people were lining up to stuff me into a turkey. And here we are with another unseasonal Thanksgiving weekend. But we're Manitobans. We're tough. We'll party hearty through anything Mother Nature throws at us.
Okay. The weather and road conditions are the pits. But, here's an easy pie crust recipe that could save the day. Best of all, you don't roll it out.
SPEEDY PAT-IN PIE CRUST
preheat oven to 425ยบ
-----
In a 9 inch pie pan mix together
1 1/2 cups flour
1 1/2 teaspoons sugar
3/4 teaspoon salt
-----
beat together until creamy
1/2 cup oil
3 tablespoons cold milk
add to flour mixture and pat in to fill pan
-----
if baking empty shell: prick and bake 15 min.
if baking with filling: use filling's instructions
I love those Chicken Soup books. Sometimes there's a quote that I have to copy and pin to my bulletin board. In honor of Thanksgiving, I'm sharing the following:
Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.
It turns what we have into enough, and more.
It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion to clarity.
It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates vision for tomorrow. Melody Beattie
Have a great day. How can you miss - you're in Winnipeg!
October 8, 2009
Have Cholesterol, Have Offers (by Margaret Ullrich)
About my cholesterol diet... Well, I tried. List in hand, I called two restaurants.
The problem is the chef doesn't answer the phone. Oh, no. When you call you always get some kid who could drink four litres of palm oil with his poutine and not even burp. As far as that font of information is concerned, the entree could be deep fried in axle grease. And he's not about to bother the chef, who's having a hard day, Lady... and, like, you know... he says he's gonna quit if I bother him, like, you know... Yeah, I know.
Then, I noticed a strange thing happening. When I thought I'd called a restaurant, it turned out to be a gas station or a dry cleaner. Or so they said. There must be a list, like there is for stolen credit cards. Now that there's call display, it's pretty easy to avoid playing 20 questions with the salad lady. I wasn't about to resort to pay phones, like Tony Soprano did when he arranged a hit. I'm Maltese. We look a lot like Sicilians. It could seem... suspicious... if I went from one pay phone to another calling restaurants. Especially if one of them burned down.
For some restaurants the ingredients are a matter of national pride. You don't mess with that. For example, ghee (clarified butter for those who never asked) has been a standard ingredient in Indian food for hundreds, no, maybe, thousands of years. Just try asking them to baste your serving of tandoori chicken with safflower oil.
The American Heart Association also advises people to read labels. I'm doing more reading now than I did in college. Why don't people in the food industry just simplify things? A heart with a red slash across it would be a lot simpler than all those percentages and decimals.
When, despite diet and exercise, my cholesterol rose higher than my investments, the doctor prescribed one of the statins. It's meant to control my liver, which is working overtime making cholesterol because it thinks I'm desperate for white wax. Maybe in a previous life it belonged to a candle maker. Who knows?
The pharmacist said that, since the statins affect the liver, I should avoid alcohol and grapefruit juice. The alcohol I understand. Why grapefruit and not orange or lemon juice is just one of the mysteries of life.
The alcohol restriction really boosted my popularity at my husband's office party. Each guest was given two tickets for free drinks and I'm not referring to grapefruit juice. What was I to do with those two tickets? When word of my problem spread, I was surrounded by young men who presumably weren't on statins. I'll bet Cosmo never suggested taking a statin as a great way to meet young men. You'd be surprised at what a guy will offer to do for a free drink and I'm not referring to grapefruit juice.
Like I said, being on a diet hasn't interfered with my social life.
Have a great weekend. How can you miss - you're in Winnipeg!
The problem is the chef doesn't answer the phone. Oh, no. When you call you always get some kid who could drink four litres of palm oil with his poutine and not even burp. As far as that font of information is concerned, the entree could be deep fried in axle grease. And he's not about to bother the chef, who's having a hard day, Lady... and, like, you know... he says he's gonna quit if I bother him, like, you know... Yeah, I know.
Then, I noticed a strange thing happening. When I thought I'd called a restaurant, it turned out to be a gas station or a dry cleaner. Or so they said. There must be a list, like there is for stolen credit cards. Now that there's call display, it's pretty easy to avoid playing 20 questions with the salad lady. I wasn't about to resort to pay phones, like Tony Soprano did when he arranged a hit. I'm Maltese. We look a lot like Sicilians. It could seem... suspicious... if I went from one pay phone to another calling restaurants. Especially if one of them burned down.
For some restaurants the ingredients are a matter of national pride. You don't mess with that. For example, ghee (clarified butter for those who never asked) has been a standard ingredient in Indian food for hundreds, no, maybe, thousands of years. Just try asking them to baste your serving of tandoori chicken with safflower oil.
The American Heart Association also advises people to read labels. I'm doing more reading now than I did in college. Why don't people in the food industry just simplify things? A heart with a red slash across it would be a lot simpler than all those percentages and decimals.
When, despite diet and exercise, my cholesterol rose higher than my investments, the doctor prescribed one of the statins. It's meant to control my liver, which is working overtime making cholesterol because it thinks I'm desperate for white wax. Maybe in a previous life it belonged to a candle maker. Who knows?
The pharmacist said that, since the statins affect the liver, I should avoid alcohol and grapefruit juice. The alcohol I understand. Why grapefruit and not orange or lemon juice is just one of the mysteries of life.
The alcohol restriction really boosted my popularity at my husband's office party. Each guest was given two tickets for free drinks and I'm not referring to grapefruit juice. What was I to do with those two tickets? When word of my problem spread, I was surrounded by young men who presumably weren't on statins. I'll bet Cosmo never suggested taking a statin as a great way to meet young men. You'd be surprised at what a guy will offer to do for a free drink and I'm not referring to grapefruit juice.
Like I said, being on a diet hasn't interfered with my social life.
Have a great weekend. How can you miss - you're in Winnipeg!
October 6, 2009
High Cholesterol 1 - Fall Supper 0 (by Margaret Ullrich)
Hope you've been getting out and enjoying a fine Fall Supper or two. I just love all that wonderful food. But, sometimes, seeing it makes me a little sad, too.
A few years ago the doctor said my cholesterol was high and he put me on a restricted diet. I'm used to it now. I don't think of having high cholesterol as a disability because, while no one enjoys having to take precautions, watching what I eat hasn't really affected anything important.
It hasn't interfered with my social life. I'm more active than some friends who can eat three portions of anything and everything. Friends are always inviting me to join them for meals, whether home cooked or restaurant or take out.
Oh... I realize it's not for my sparkling wit or insightful comments on current events. Nope. Having me for a guest is a blessing for the hostess. She knows that while others are brunching on the quiche, I'm having the salad. While others are twirling their Fettuccine alla Alfredo, I'm having the salad. While others are wolfing down the Beef Wellington, I'm having the salad. While others are devouring the Peking Duck, I'm having the steamed rice.
Inviting me is like inviting Bugs Bunny. Water and carrots are fine, thank you.
When the doctor told me to watch my diet, I bought the American Heart Association's Cookbook. It has a chapter on what to do before going to a restaurant. If you've just been diagnosed, save your money. Their big suggestion is: contact your restaurant in advance and grill them more thoroughly than they grill the steak. The Association says "be assertive and don't be intimidated by the menu, the atmosphere or the waiter."
There's even a list of questions to ask. Questions like: Do you or would you on request
- Prepare a dish using vegetable oil (corn, soy, sunflower, safflower)
or margarine made with vegetable oil, rather than butter?
- Leave all butter, gravy or sauce off an entree or side dish?
- Broil, bake, steam or poach (rather than saute or deep fry) meat,
fish or poultry?
Ah, well, there's more to life than food.
Have a great day. How can you miss - you're in Winnipeg!
A few years ago the doctor said my cholesterol was high and he put me on a restricted diet. I'm used to it now. I don't think of having high cholesterol as a disability because, while no one enjoys having to take precautions, watching what I eat hasn't really affected anything important.
It hasn't interfered with my social life. I'm more active than some friends who can eat three portions of anything and everything. Friends are always inviting me to join them for meals, whether home cooked or restaurant or take out.
Oh... I realize it's not for my sparkling wit or insightful comments on current events. Nope. Having me for a guest is a blessing for the hostess. She knows that while others are brunching on the quiche, I'm having the salad. While others are twirling their Fettuccine alla Alfredo, I'm having the salad. While others are wolfing down the Beef Wellington, I'm having the salad. While others are devouring the Peking Duck, I'm having the steamed rice.
Inviting me is like inviting Bugs Bunny. Water and carrots are fine, thank you.
When the doctor told me to watch my diet, I bought the American Heart Association's Cookbook. It has a chapter on what to do before going to a restaurant. If you've just been diagnosed, save your money. Their big suggestion is: contact your restaurant in advance and grill them more thoroughly than they grill the steak. The Association says "be assertive and don't be intimidated by the menu, the atmosphere or the waiter."
There's even a list of questions to ask. Questions like: Do you or would you on request
- Prepare a dish using vegetable oil (corn, soy, sunflower, safflower)
or margarine made with vegetable oil, rather than butter?
- Leave all butter, gravy or sauce off an entree or side dish?
- Broil, bake, steam or poach (rather than saute or deep fry) meat,
fish or poultry?
Ah, well, there's more to life than food.
Have a great day. How can you miss - you're in Winnipeg!
October 4, 2009
Prairie Fire Press Presents
Didn't get your fill of authors? Not to worry.
On Thursday, Oct. 8, Prairie Fire Press, publishers of Winnipeg's highly respected literary magazine Prairie Fire, is inviting you to readings by John Barton, editor of The Malahat Review, and local writers Clarise Foster and Ariel Gordon. This event will take place at McNally Robinson Booksellers' Grant Park location (travel alcove). Reading starts at 7:00 PM and is free.
Want to know more. Okay. Barton has also published nine books of poetry and five chapbooks. Foster, editor of Contemporary Verse 2, is the author of two collections of poetry. Gordon has recently published chapbooks and her work has appeared in literary magazines.
Sounds like a great evening's line up. Come on down and enjoy!
It sometimes happens that meeting an author stirs the "I can do that, too" spirit in a reader. Well, maybe you can. Prairie Fire Press, in conjunction with McNally Robinson Booksellers, is hosting its annual poetry, fiction and creative non-fiction contests.
In each category: 1st prize $1,250, 2nd prize $500, 3rd prize $250.
For information and guidelines contact:
Prairie Fire Press
Phone: (204) 943-9066
E-mail: prfire@mts.net
www.prairiefire.ca
Deadline: November 30, 2009
The $31 entry fee entitles you to a one-year (4 issue) subscription to Prairie Fire. Nothing to lose. Give it a shot.
Have a great day. How can you miss - you're in Winnipeg!
On Thursday, Oct. 8, Prairie Fire Press, publishers of Winnipeg's highly respected literary magazine Prairie Fire, is inviting you to readings by John Barton, editor of The Malahat Review, and local writers Clarise Foster and Ariel Gordon. This event will take place at McNally Robinson Booksellers' Grant Park location (travel alcove). Reading starts at 7:00 PM and is free.
Want to know more. Okay. Barton has also published nine books of poetry and five chapbooks. Foster, editor of Contemporary Verse 2, is the author of two collections of poetry. Gordon has recently published chapbooks and her work has appeared in literary magazines.
Sounds like a great evening's line up. Come on down and enjoy!
It sometimes happens that meeting an author stirs the "I can do that, too" spirit in a reader. Well, maybe you can. Prairie Fire Press, in conjunction with McNally Robinson Booksellers, is hosting its annual poetry, fiction and creative non-fiction contests.
In each category: 1st prize $1,250, 2nd prize $500, 3rd prize $250.
For information and guidelines contact:
Prairie Fire Press
Phone: (204) 943-9066
E-mail: prfire@mts.net
www.prairiefire.ca
Deadline: November 30, 2009
The $31 entry fee entitles you to a one-year (4 issue) subscription to Prairie Fire. Nothing to lose. Give it a shot.
Have a great day. How can you miss - you're in Winnipeg!
October 1, 2009
Jazz Under the Rooftop and Fall Suppers
You love Jazz but couldn't get to the library on Oct. 1? No problem. On Oct. 3 at 8:00 PM The Winnipeg Art Gallery is the place to be. The Amber Epp Quartet will be perfoming. Tickets are $17 WAG members/ $18 Senior & Student/ $19 Adult @ Wag, wag.ca, Ticketmaster. Make a day of it and stroll through the gallery.
October's here. Gardeners have been pulling and picking this year's harvest. Cooks have been digging out and choosing traditional recipes to prepare for the holidays.
Holidays. Recipes. Baking. Hours by the oven... Sheesh!
You know, there's something nice about getting together with others for a good homecooked meal in a relaxed setting. Yes sir. There's an extra special something about a meal that someone else has cooked. And the fact that someone else will be cleaning up is a gift in itself.
It's time to go to a Fall Supper or two.
On Oct. 4 St. Anne's Anglican Church, 253 Burrin Avenue, will be hosting its Fall Supper. There'll be two seatings (5:00 and 6:15 PM). Tickets are: Adults $12, children 6-9 $5, children under 6 free. For tickets call 334-5435 or 668-3413.
Have a great weekend. How can you miss - you're in Winnipeg!
October's here. Gardeners have been pulling and picking this year's harvest. Cooks have been digging out and choosing traditional recipes to prepare for the holidays.
Holidays. Recipes. Baking. Hours by the oven... Sheesh!
You know, there's something nice about getting together with others for a good homecooked meal in a relaxed setting. Yes sir. There's an extra special something about a meal that someone else has cooked. And the fact that someone else will be cleaning up is a gift in itself.
It's time to go to a Fall Supper or two.
On Oct. 4 St. Anne's Anglican Church, 253 Burrin Avenue, will be hosting its Fall Supper. There'll be two seatings (5:00 and 6:15 PM). Tickets are: Adults $12, children 6-9 $5, children under 6 free. For tickets call 334-5435 or 668-3413.
Have a great weekend. How can you miss - you're in Winnipeg!