Sam Katz's Caper: Biweekly Doesn't Mean Biweekly - by Margaret Ullrich

Must do yard work.  NOW.  Trudeau had said the government had no business in our bedrooms.  Wish the government would stay out of our gardens, too...

Got another note from my new penpals at the Water and Waste Department.

There are going to be three changes:

Starting April 19, backlane garbage will be picked up from both sides of the lane.

We can buy a second cart, a larger cart or two larger carts.  Plan ahead - there are no refunds if your 20-year-old triplets move out, taking their garbage with them.

There's going to be Biweekly Spring and Fall Yard Waste Collection on May 4 and 18 and also on October 4 and 19.

According to my dictionary, biweekly means: 

1. occurring every 2 weeks

2. occurring twice a week

Okay... that's a little confusing.  According to the City of Winnipeg, Spring is just in May, so we're stuck babysitting the thatch that was raked the first week in April.  And Fall just covers two weeks in October.  

If we have a nice October this year, well, don't even think of letting your tomatoes ripen on the vine.  If your tomato plants aren't pulled and giftwrapped by October 19, you'd better find a recipe for cooking them, plants and all.  

And not just any old bag will do for Winnipeg yard waste.  No siree.  We used to fill our large dog food bags with rakings and cuttings.  Now there are garbage container rules:

- any reusable container without a lid

- cardboard boxes

- paper yard waste bags which, the brochure said, "You can buy them at many stores."  Right.  I want names.

- any certified compostable bag with an official logo

For something that was so well planned out, that's an awful lot of changes in such a short period.

My favorite sentence was: "Yard waste that is set out in plastic garbage bags is considered garbage and will not be collected."  Even if the plastic garbage bag is in a garbage cart?  I mean, duh, it's garbage.

I'm sure we're going to get another letter about summer lawn clippings.

Maybe they'd like to be Facebook Friends, too?

(Originally posted April 17, 2010)

Have a great day.  How can you miss - you're in Winnipeg!